Co-parenting means the sharing of duties around raising a child or children (used especially with parents who are separated or not in a relationship).
Successful co-parenting can be established when both parents ensure the child or children come first in all decisions relating to them and the circumstances, they currently live in. Children do well when they know they are loved and cared for by both parents. They should be kept out of any conflict and, when age-appropriate, should be made aware of big changes that will affect them in advance.
I often state that “your children are your North Star”. Keep every decision orientated towards that North Star and if you are feeling unsure or lost about a decision, every question should be “What is best for the child or children?”, rather than “what is best for me or my ex”.
When a co-parenting plan commences depends on some of the below points that you should consider. The review of any co-parenting should be at regular intervals because as the children’s lives change, so should your parenting plans. If circumstances change, such as new partners coming into their lives, health issues or any other needs arise, or any potential relocations, it’s important to remember that the children are a critical factor. All families are different, and their needs are unique.
Important things to consider when thinking about a co-parenting plan:
- Responsibilities to your child or children.
- Supporting the relationship with the other parent.
- Responsibilities to each other.
- How frequently you will review the plan.
- Financial responsibilities.
- Parental responsibility and decision-making (these can include educational, academic, healthcare etc. If a parent has a speciality in an area such as IT, education or health, you may decide they will have a decision-making authority if called upon in that subject).
- Day-to-day decisions.
- Activities outside of school.
- Sharing considerations: i.e. school calendar, parenting schedules, weekends, holidays, birthdays, Christmas and Easter breaks, school excursions.
- Transportation and exchange of children.
- After-school care.
- Overseas and holiday travel.
- Communication apps available to parents (Our Family Wizard).
- Access to school apps, parent teacher reviews, school sports.
- Social media, screen time, mobile phone usage.
Your family’s needs and wants are unique, but here are some other points that are worth including in your plan or at least discussing, so you’re on the same page:
- Substance usage: alcohol and drugs
- Driving, parties, and sleepovers
- Religious choices
- Discipline
- Diet
- Medical and dental care
- Moves and relocations
- New relationships
If you would like to chat with me about co-parenting, please schedule your complimentary 30-minute consultation. Let me help you through some of your queries and ensure your child or children are your “North Star”.
